Kirito's Fail at Love
by Truthstar007
Summary: The girls from SAO are sick of Kirito being so oblivious to love. Find out what happens when Lisbeth, Silica, Lyfa and Sachi all confront him about ditching them for Asuna. Disclaimer-I do not own anything
1. Uninvited Intervention

**Okay so I altered the first chapter a tiny bit. Let me know if you want it back the way it was or if this is better. Enjoy! And more updates soon.**

Kirito was scared.

When the doorbell had rung he thought it might be Klein or even Agil coming to visit him in the SAO universe. What he found were four angry girls storming into his living room who he was now sat opposite to.

After a few moments of looking at them expectantly and the small group giving him death stares he finally spoke, "So...erm...girls, what do you want?" Kirito scratched his head and looked over to the kitchen where Asuna and Yui were cooking lunch completely unaware of the visitors.

They slowly glanced at each other and shook their heads as if he should already know.

"Kirito", Lisbeth sighed, "We're sick and tired of you leading us on and then ditching us for Asuna!"

He nearly fell off his chair, "What!"

While the four girls started nodding and murmuring in agreement he sat there looking like he'd just been stabbed, "What are you talking about! How have I lead you on?"

"You always flirt with us then go on back to Asuna!" Silica moaned.

"What! No I don't."

This time Sachi spoke, "Kirito, you knew we fancied you so why were you still so friendly and charming?"

Kirito's expression had turned into total disbelief, "You guys fancied me?"

The girls looked back at him unblinking. Finally Lyfa, otherwise known as Kirito's cousin asked quietly, "You didn't know any of us fancied you?"

"No of course not! How could I?"

The group looked like they'd just been told Zac Efron was engaged. Kirito sat apologetically trying to process what he's just been told while the girls muttered furiously to each other about how they hadn't prepared anything for this. A full two minutes went by before Sachi spoke.

"Kirito…we spent a full night in the same bed."

"Yeah, cos you were scared and-"

"_We_ got stuck in a cave together."

"Lisbeth how's that meant to tell me anything?"

"You helped me get to level 45 just so I could resurrect my pet!" Silica yelled, "And I nearly opened the door to you in my underwear!"

"Okay, well I didn't know or need to know that-"

"I actually said I love you when we were falling to our deaths!" Lisbeth was practically screaming now leaving Kirito completely speechless as he desperately tried to recall all the events with each person.

"What about you Lyfa?" Silica asked curiously.

The green dressed blonde sighed, "Well he's my cousin and adopted brother, me liking him is just messed up. But...You totally lead me on when we were in the fairy world and I didn't know you were my cousin!"

"I was searching for Asuna the whole time! Whoa girls I'm sorry but I love Asuna and I didn't mean to lead any of you on or anything but I had no idea!"

The death stares and accusations made him feel like he was in some sort of interrogation.

Sachi stared down, "You're so oblivious."

"Hmm, I kinda like that about him."

"I like his hair, it's so mysterious."

"And his eyes, they're so dreamy."

"I love it when he uses his sword wielding skill."

"Oh and when he's so determined to set things right."

"And he's still fit when he'd a weird elf thing!"

The four girls seemed to go off into a chatting frenzy about Kirito's qualities, leaving the guy in question sitting there not quite knowing what to do. It would have probably gone on for hours if a small black haired child hadn't walked in. Yui.

She glared at each of the girls angrily, "Mummy! Daddy's is in the living room with lots of strange ladies!"

Kirito watched helplessly as Asuna hurried in confused.

It took exactly four seconds for her to realise what was going on, "Yui…go upstairs sweetie", she walked over and sat down next to Kirito, "Listen girls. You can fantasise over my husband for all eternity and still not have him. I know he's not the best at reading the signs of love and his friendliness is very _very_ misleading but I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

The girls leaned closer.

"He's mine bitches, so get the hell outta here before I cut you're faces up!"

Her threat was especially effective because she was holding a butchers knife she had been using to make lunch. The girls were gone in minutes, giving Asuna death stares as they left the door.

Kirito stared at his wife in disbelief, "Asuna that was...frightening."

"I'm sick of every girl you meet falling in love with you!"

He smiled then suddenly sat up, "Aren't you scared they'll come back and confront you?"

"Please, I'm more badass then all of them put together. I could take them."

Kirito laughed, "I'm sure you could," he pulled her into a kiss, "Now can we _please_ eat. I'm starving!"

As the made their way to the kitchen they didn't see the four girls glaring through the window while Silica stroked Pina with a diabolical smile.

"This isn't over Kirito."

Not by far.


	2. Midnight Meet up

**New chapter is here! PLEASE let me know if it's rubbish like the last chapter 2 I posted but I'm so glad I'm actually properly doing this instead of leaving you guys with empty promises, enjoy!**

The girls weren't evil. They hadn't gone insane. There was no corrupt organisation tied to them.

It was just Kirito.

That was the reasoning behind all of the girls, the motive on why they were meeting up in what could have easily been called a secret lair in the middle of the night. Lisbeth had called them to come. She had a plan.

It had been four days since Asuna had kicked them out and all of them were fuelled with jealously and anger. They were ready to do something stupid. As the last of them sleepily wandered in, Lisbeth began to speak.

"Kirito loves Asuna. If by some miracle…and I really mean a miracle…if he somehow stopped having feelings for her that would still create problems for us", she paused and looked at them, "We can't all have him."

"Is that what we came all this way to hear?" Lyfa frowned, "I mean…it's pretty obvious."

"Yeah and didn't we say we'd let him choose?" Silica asked wide eyed.

Lisbeth sighed, "It wouldn't be right to leave it up to him. He's made too many mistakes. Plus, he spends most of his real life time with Lyfa near so-"

"Hey are you tryna say us living together makes things easier!"

"I'm just _saying_ it might end up a little biased towards _some_ people", Lisbeth sat down round the stone table in the middle of the cave, "I've come up with a fair way of deciding who is worthy of his affection."

"Why does it even matter?" Sachi muttered, "It's not like Asuna's going anywhere."

Lisbeth smiled, "My plan includes Asuna."

Silica yawned, "How?"

The pink haired girl smiled even more, "What if we had a little…competition? All of us and Asuna against each other in a fight for Kirito."

Lyfa shot up, "What! How does that work?"

Sachi stared into the distance confused, "You're saying we're using violence to get love?"

Lisbeth nodded, "What could go wrong?"

"But…Asuna would never agree to that", Silica turned to her friends, "Neither would Kirito."

That was when Lisbeth's grin looked almost evil, "What if they didn't have a choice?"

"Urgh Lis can you get to the point! All this cliff-hanger nonsense is way too complicated for me to process at this time of night", Lyfa slumped down in her chair.

"Fine. Okay…you know how my brothers really into computers?" When they all nodded she continued, "Well…he's managed to hack the SAO system and-"

"HE HACKED THE WHAT!" Sachi yelled then calmed when she saw her three friends looking at her like she was some serial killer with a knife, "Sorry but isn't that kinda…I donnu, illegal!"

"Well yeah but…what choice do we have?"

"Oh I don't know, not screw with something that could send us to _prison_!"

"It's for Kirito!" Lisbeth shouted like that was the only explanation needed, "Anyway…he played around with the databases and managed to set up a Vs match on level 52."

"Vs match…is that life threatening?"

"No! SAO's past that now. Look, I have this", she pulled out a small box with a bright red button, "When I press this it will clear the whole of floor 52 and transport us and Asuna there."

"What, so we can fight against the strongest female in the whole game? Great plan Lisb-"

"Just hear me out!" she shouted and started talking quicker so she wouldn't be interrupted again, "My brothers done more than just hack the system. He can play around with our inventories too", when they looked at her confused she sighed, "So if I press this button we all go into the game with a full set of armour and rare, high powered weapons and Asuna's left with a basic kit to even out the odds!"

Judging by her friends thoughtful faces, she guessed her idea was finally getting through to them. There were glints of hope in each of the girl's eyes. They'd started to believe there was a chance at getting something that before all this they'd never been able to touch. There was only one major flaw.

Sachi spoke, "Say this all works. We fight against each other. One of us wins. Then what? I mean, we can't force Kirito to go with the victor. He'd probably just be pissed we brought Asuna to fight and go home with her…everything would just go back to how it is now."

That was the one thing they couldn't change. Kirito's free will. No matter how much they dabbled in the SAO structure or their own determination they couldn't change what Kirito wanted. And he wanted Asuna.

"There's one more catch", Lisbeth said quietly, "One more thing my brother was able to do. It took a while but…he's made it so whoever wins will immediately become Kirito's wife."

All of the girls went very, _very _quiet. Minutes passed before they all whispered in unison.

"How?"

"It…it would just be in SAO. My brother…he can change the status on what one player is to another. He can make one of us his wife instead of Asuna."

"What if he hates us afterwards?"

Lisbeth paused before answering, "I have an idea…its risky, might not even work. If we aggravate her enough, Asuna might agree to the fighting terms to try to show us up. If we get her to say Kirito will give us a chance if one of us wins it might, I don't know, make him make an effort. I know it's stupid but it's the only plan I've got", she got up from her seat and asked the all-important deciding question, "Are you guys in?"

Silica grinned, "Can I bring Pina?"

"Of course."

"Then it sounds fun. I mean at least I'll be able to piss off Asuna a bit!"

Lisbeth laughed, "Great. Lyfa?"

"Hmm…I _am_ meant to be talking to my psychiatrist when I start thinking about Kirito like this…but you know what screw it! Let's do this."

"Yay! Sachi?"

Sachi looked down, "We could get thrown in jail for messing around with this."

"But just think of Auna's face!"

That seemed to do the trick. After a minutes thought Sachi gave in, "Okay."

They looked round at each other, slowly realising what they had just agreed on.

"Okay, now what?"

Lisbeth stared at the button in her now shaky hands, "I guess there's only one thing left to do, "You all ready?"

They nodded.

"Okay…here we go", she shut her eyes tight and slammed her hand down on the button.

Everything turned dark.


	3. Let the Battle Commence!

**Okay chapter three is here! Enjoy guys :)**

Getting kidnapped via teleportation at four in the morning was _not_ the worst thing Asuna had ever been through.

It still pissed her off though.

Going from a nice warm bed to some murky field had been bad enough. Confused and disorientated she'd stumbled around trying to make sense of where she was. After that had miserably failed, she'd given up and tried to leave the game.

That had been a mistake.

Now, ten minutes later she was still staring in complete bewilderment at her screen. The option to exit the game had gone. She was stuck here.

_No, _panic crawled through her, _not again._

Forcing herself to stay calm she tried to assess the situation. This _couldn't _be the same as last time. It just wasn't possible.

_So what the hell's going on?_

"Asuna!"

Abruptly she turned round to see Lisbeth standing steadily holding one of the biggest swords she'd ever seen.

"Lisbeth?" Asuna took a defensive stance, "What have you done?"

"Nothing much. Technically all _I _did was press a button", when Asuna didn't respond she continued, "It's not fair. Just because you were the first girl he met in SAO."

Asuna rolled her eyes, "Is this another messed up plan to get Kirito?"

"Hmm…depends on the outcome. It's more about revenge on you."

"Where are we?"

"Floor fifty two, thought you'd recognise it. Considering how long we were stuck here for. Guess you were too busy playing house with Kirito."

Asuna would have slapped her if she hadn't been holding the stupid sword, "What are we doing here?"

"Well…it's a bit of a long story", Lisbeth's grip on her weapon tightened, "You know my brother don't you?"

_Oh my god she's hacked the game hasn't she, _Asuna took a deep breath, "Look I really just don't feel like being part of some grand scheme right now. Wanna kill me and call it even?"

"The stakes are a bit higher than that", Sachi's voice came up from behind her, "Me. You. Lisbeth. Silica. Lyfa."

"Last one standing wins", Silica said cheerfully.

The girls were appearing out of nowhere. Asuna's head was permanently jolting around trying to keep up with them. She didn't like this. Especially seeing as they were all heavily armed and she was in her pyjamas.

"Really? You dragged me out of bed to fight?" As she opened her inventory Lyfa appeared to complete a square formed around her.

"The winner gets Kirito", Lyfa concluded.

Asuna was about to burst out laughing at how stupid their plan was when she saw her items, "What?"

There was only one thing in her inventory. A steel sword.

"You can't be surprised", Sachi said, "We had to do something to-"

"Even out the odds?" Asuna finished, helplessly she summoned her basic weapon and held it firmly, "Hope you realise how pointless this whole thing is."

"If one of us wins you're going to make him go out with us."

_Wait what! _Asuna nearly dropped her sword. Looking at all of them confused she began to speak, "Okay look guys there are just a _few _problems with this…get up you've got going on", she shook her head, "Like…seriously when have I ever been able to change Kirito's mind on anything! Well…unless he's being stupid. What's stopping us from seeing each other in oh I don't know the _real_ world. How do you expect to form an actual relationship through this? How is this suddenly going to change his mind? How the hell are you going to stay in SAO when Yui will probably go on some crazy rampage when she hears what's going on?"

The four girls shuffled uncomfortably as Asuna continued ranting on all the plot holes in their plan. One midnight meeting obviously hadn't been enough time to properly plan this out.

"None of your points matter!" Lisbeth yelled, "When Kirito sees that the winner beat you he'll think you're too weak for him and we'll finally get the love we deserve!"

"Are you even hearing yourself right now?"

"I'M BEING PERFECTLY REASONABLE!"

"You're crazy!"

Silica glance over at her friend, "Lisbeth calm down."

Lisbeth was breathing heavily, "Sorry. Anyway it doesn't matter, the time for talking is over."

"Wait", Sachi warned, "She hasn't agreed yet."

The group all glared at her expectantly. Asuna loosened her grip on the sword, "Guys, I'm telling you this plan isn't going to work. Even if you beat me it won't change anything."

"Agree to the terms Asuna. There's no other way you're getting out of this."

Asuna was running out of ways to stall the group. This whole situation was so ridiculous she didn't know whether to cry, laugh or scream, "Please just-"

"Asuna!"

"Fine!" frustrated she gripped her sword again and rose it to a battle pose, "If one of you, well, let's face it you're all gonna work together to fight against me before slaughtering each other. So…if all four of you with your fancy armour and massive advanced weapons…seriously Lisbeth how are you holding that? It's twice your size!" she gestured towards the sword, "Urgh I'm getting off track. Okay if all four of you can fight me, a defenceless teen with a newbie weapon, all at the same time and beat me I will _ask _Kirito if he'll consider the winner. Will that get you to stop acting like a group of deranged psychopath's?"

"You would be this way too! If he hadn't chose you", Sachi muttered bitterly.

"Errm…no I would probably do this thing called GETTING OVER IT", Asuna couldn't believe these girls. She wasn't sure why she and Kirito worked so well together but it definitely wasn't because she'd become some possessive creep.

"Nothing matters! She's agreed to the terms", Lisbeth said with a cruel smile, "Let the battle commence in five…"

_I am so screwed._

"Four…"

_Think Asuna think!_

"Three…"

_Don't let these psychos beat you."_

"Two- Hey wait you can't just…ASUNA!"

But Asuna had already sprinted off. _Hey you couldn't take away my speed and I'm not waiting around to get beaten on the spot!_

Lisbeth and the girls stood there awkwardly as Asuna ran into the distance.

Silica sighed, "Maybe we need to reconsider our-"

"Screw countdowns!" Lisbeth screamed, "LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!"

Asuna smiled as she heard them running towards them.

_These girls…are going to pay!_


	4. Hide and Seek: SAO Edition

Floor 52 was one of the least visited levels. In a virtual fantasy world with unbelievable creatures, buildings and views not many people wanted to go to some field in the middle of nowhere. Just a stretch of pointless grass with barely anything else of importance. You might find a few flowers, some small animals but other than that it felt like the creator had gotten wasted and thought, "_How quickly can I bore the players…Oh I know! The FIELD OF NOTHINGNESS! My manager will love this!"_

It was one of the reasons Lisbeth chose it as her 'battleground' for revenge against Asuna 2.0. A field of nothingness basically meant nowhere to hide. No trees, no buildings. Nothing. Just a lot of green.

Unfortunately for the girls, they'd underestimated how resourceful their enemy could be.

"What do you mean she's underground?!"

Lisbeth and the girls trudged furiously through the grass. They'd been wondering around for nearly an hour since Asuna bolted off.

"I'm just saying were in the middle of a field!" Sachi stopped walking and gestured her hands around her, "If we can't see her now it means she's either below us or in the clouds flying around like fucking Peter Pan."

"It doesn't make any sense", Lisbeth shook her head, "How could she be underground? Even Asuna can't dig a hole deep enough that fast."

Sachi frowned at how quickly her friend had shut down the suggestion, "I don't know! It just seems like the only logical reason."

"Logical reasons need actual logic in them you know. Your idea makes no sense."

"It's not like we've got that many options. We can't just keep walking around until some admin shuts us down."

"But if we go into some dead end idea we'd just be wasting time."

While the two girls argued Silica stroked Pina thoughtfully. Now that she really thought about it, the fact that such a high floor was so basic _did_ seem strange. Maybe there was more to the level that no one had bothered to look into. Right below their feet…

She gave Lyfa a knowing look and stepped forward, "We could split", Silica said, causing the girls to go quiet, "Two underground, two up here?"

"No!" Lisbeth lowered her voice, "It's gonna take all of us to beat her."

"Really? Because last I checked she was barely armed."

"Yeah well last _I_ checked she managed to outrun four opponents."

Silica sighed, "Look. We're getting nowhere. Either we split or argue or kill each other now! Your choice."

She was right. If they continued letting the tension build there'd be a massacre before Asuna even showed her face. All of them looked at each other with cautious eyes, silently hoping their enemy would pop out from nowhere so they wouldn't have to make a decision.

But Asuna wasn't in any position to pull off some cheap magic trick. It would've probably been difficult for her to even remember what SAO stood for at this point, seeing as she was just regaining consciousness.

_Wait…why am I on the ground? _

Sluggishly the teen opened her eyes to see a shady grey area surrounding her. She was sprawled painfully across a cold surface.

_Wasn't I running? _

Feeling gently around her she rubbed the rocky floor.

_But…where did the grass go? _

She sat up, yelping at the aching around her body. It was lucky she didn't pass out again from the pain. It was a _miracle _she kept consciousness once she saw where exactly she was.

_Wh…what?!_

Asuna didn't know whether to feel amazed, confused or angry. Everywhere she looked were complicated stone structures carved into the jagged walls. As she looked up she saw the tallest was at least twenty feet high. Above that the area narrowed until there was nothing but a barely visible hole letting the _smallest_ amount of sunlight through.

_Oh my god…I fell through that didn't I?_

How she survived a fall like that could only be explained through messed up SAO logic. But this place did seem different to the usual gameplay. Something about those carvings was off-putting. They reminded Asuna of Roman history. Chariots, spears, ancient battle armour. It was just weird.

The shape of this whole area was weird too. Just a huge space with statues for walls cutting off at different heights. There was no order to it. Seemed like a few insane artists had decided to leave their work lying about the place. Asuna could've looked at them all day. SAO was big, with too much gameplay to note, too many places to see and way too many items to count but for some reason she was drawn to this place.

And she was about to find out why.

There was a loud crash behind her. No. Two loud crashes. Sachi and Silica had just fallen through to smash down in the same place Asuna had been just a little while before. Only now, the two girls 'enemy' was hiding behind a stone spear.

"Ow…" Sachi said weakly, "Silica get off me!"

"But you're so comfy…wait where are we again?" she curled up with Pina on top of her.

"I think you hit your head too hard."

"Can I even hit my head in a game?"

"Just get up", Sachi yanked the half asleep girl to her feet then promptly dropped her when she saw what was around her.

"Wow."

While Sachi looked around at the carvings, Silica reluctantly sat up, "This place is strange. I don't like it Sachi I wanna go home!"

She smiled, "Stop throwing a tantrum."

"No I have a bad feeling!"

"This is the first place where Asuna actually stands a chance at hiding in and you wanna go?"

"Please something doesn't feel right."

"It's just a bunch of stone, come on and help me look."

"I'm serious! Can we just-"

She didn't get a chance to finish.

The best word to describe what happened next is earthquake. Asuna had leaned too far forward and lost her grip on the sculpted weapon. The second she hit the ground there was a deafening sound and the floor started to rapidly shake.

"Sachi look!" Silica pointed at Asuna but her friend couldn't hear her over all the noise. It wouldn't have matter anyway, seeing as she could barely keep her balance or a hold on Pina. There was nothing to grab onto so the girls were left bouncing violently around the floor, trying their best not to get their brains bashed out.

Asuna was the first to get a proper stance in the chaos. It was difficult but she managed to stick her sword through a crack in the stone and cling onto it. She nearly stabbed herself in the process but it stopped her from flailing about so much. It felt like every limb in her body was trying to go different directions but she kept a firm grip. The other girls weren't as resourceful but they were smart enough to not get too hurt.

By the time Asuna had come to terms with what was happening, the shaking had stopped. They'd been going up, she knew that much by the sudden burst of sunlight. The familiar field was around them, same as before. Only now the huge stone monument was in the middle of it. No, not a monument. It was an oval shape and the carvings made it look like a…like an…

Like an arena.

And to Asuna's horror, she saw Sachi and Silica start to brush themselves off.

Her best guess: They were her opponents.

She didn't like the sculptures so much anymore.


	5. Where Art Thou Kirito?

Once the fighting started it was clear why Asuna liked this place. The whole arena had a battle atmosphere. Asuna was good at anything to do with conflict. She was one of the best examples of skilled violence SAO had to offer and even with nothing but a crappy second hand sword, she could still hold her own against the two teen girls.

It was amazing how the adrenaline of combat could make her forget how tired she really was. That she should've been getting up for school about now. That she had a history test in a few hours.

It also made her brain not register the fact that this whole 'competition' she'd been drawn into was probably taking longer than Lisbeth and her gang were expecting. And seeing as Asuna _should_ have been getting up for school it meant other teens were as well.

Not that Asuna had thought any of that through. She was too busy fighting. While Kirito's 'alarm' was just starting to sound.

* * *

><p>"Daddy wake up!"<p>

"Hmm..." Half asleep Kirito sunk further into his pillow "Yui...Daddy's tryna sleep."

"No! Wake up. NOW!"

"Just five more minutes…"

Three seconds later he found himself being thrown off his bed, "NOW."

"Ow!" A face planted Kirito reluctantly opened his eyes. He spoke to Yui in a muffled voice, "Is it really time already?"

The little black haired girl nodded, "Seven thirty."

"Urrrgh fine. Asuna get up", Kirito jumped up to see his girlfriend but found nothing but a mattress, "Asuna?"

"Mummy's not here."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not in the house."

Kirito looked around the room confused, "That doesn't make any sense. We were gonna revise for that test today over breakfast."

Yui bit her lip, "Maybe something happened in the real world?"

But Kirito's face had already turned grim, "Either way, this is bad."

* * *

><p><em>Attack…Defend…Look for an opening…Get them off their guard...Don't. Die.<em>

Asuna's thoughts were easier said than done as she faced off against the two overly powered girls. Sachi was in classic silver knight armour with all sorts of charms and defences on it and her sword was a diamond blue made from extremely rare materials. Silica had the same in red with a white sword that seemed to be glowing. They looked like something out of a medieval war game but Asuna was in no position to see the funny side. She was barely alive and all the fighting was tiring her out quickly.

"Killing me isn't gonna get you anything", her sword clashed harmlessly off Sachi's armour, "Don't you see there's no way this plays out giving you want!"

"Don't you get it?" Silica stared knowingly at her opponent, "This isn't about Kirito anymore! This is about _you. _We want revenge on _you_."

"Oh for god's sake", Asuna slammed into the two of them with as much force as she could muster, _Note to self. Don't negotiate with psychotic girls. _

Her eyes were inches away from the young brunette's face, "Yeah this is all my fault. Keep telling yourself that Silica."

"But it _is_!" with new found strength she pushed Asuna back, "If you weren't there he might notice us. He…he might notice me."

Asuna couldn't help but burst out laughing. She felt bad seeing all the girls upset because she knew how the 'Kirito' charm could affect them. But at the same time she had to knock some sense into these naïve minds in front of her. Silica had fallen back but Sachi was still fighting strong so she had to dodge her attacks as she spoke, "Say I never existed. Kirito never met me. He can still only choose one right? You think you'd be his first choice Silica? Really?" she drove her weapon over Sachi's head, "If anything Sachi would be!" That stopped her from attacking and in an instant the three girls were in a weird triangle shape facing each other off. Even though she was out of breath, Asuna continued, "Then probably Lisbeth. After that it's between you and Lyfa. I think you win against her seeing as she's his cousin. If I'm the enemy, what makes the other two any different?"

They stood there silently as the thought sunk in. After a while Silica spoke softly, "But the other two understand me. Because they didn't get him. You did", Silica's eyes flash with anger and she responded to the speech by gracing Asuna with an almighty bitch slap.

* * *

><p>Kirito's uniform itched like hell but for once it didn't bother him as the aimless search around the classroom showed no Asuna. He regretted coming here. Should've figured Asuna was in deeper trouble than getting up early. Now he was stuck in school and for all he knew his girlfriend could've been kidnapped or killed or half way to Africa by now. He slumped solemnly in his chair. He'd have to ask Asuna's parents where she was after school.<p>

"Kazuto?"

"Here miss…" he sighed and sunk lower into his desk.

"Sinon?"

"Here miss."

"Alice?"

"Here miss."

"Lisbeth?"

No answer.

Confused Kirito brought his head up slowly.

"Kyōji?"

"Here miss."

"Sachi?"

No answer.

"Silica?"

No answer.

"Asuna?"

_Oh no_, Kirito stared into the distance as a horrible realization struck him, _No…_

"Kazuto? What in earth's name are you doing!" without realizing it Kirito had stood up and was heading for the door.

"Sorry miss!" he said awkwardly as he grabbed the door handle, "I've errm…forgot to get someone, oh errm…something."

"Can't it wait?"

"Errm…I don't think so."

With that he slowly opened the door, took one last look at his bewildered peers and ran out with his teacher screaming behind him.

_Asuna…_

* * *

><p>The stupidity of the fight was lowering Asuna's adrenalin and she'd just begun to comprehend how exhausted she was. Bruised and battered she'd just <em>had<em> it with these teens and felt like she was going to pass out any minute.

"You tired Asuna?"

"Should we sing you a lullaby?"

"You should just give up."

"Lisbeth and Lyfa will be here soon."

"Give up Asuna…let the nightmare end."

"Let us finish this."

"Shut up!" Asuna swung her sword into the air, "I never did _anything_ to you! I haven't slept. I haven't eaten. We should all be in the real world doing something but here we are settling some petty feud! I've. Had. ENOUGH!"

If she hadn't been so whacked out she would've kept her cool. But Asuna was too knackered to think.

"I swear I _will_ destroy all of you. One right after the other but right now I'm done. This is too stupid for me to process."

"What do you-"

Asuna didn't let her finish. She gave the almightiest of shoves to Sachi and Silica and started to storm off out of the arena. This was _not_ worth it and she didn't fancy getting killed by these two inexperienced fighters. If she was giving up, she was doing it her way.

"You can't do this", Sachi and Silica screamed, "We'll find you."

Asuna laughed but didn't get time to think of an awesome comeback as an overwhelming amount of pain shot through her. She'd slammed into an invisible wall just before the exit of the grounds. It seemed the arena didn't want the fight to finish till someone won.

_You have got to be KIDDING me!_

As if her luck couldn't get any worse she heard rushed footsteps and a familiar voice, "Sorry Asuna…looks like you've lost this one", Asuna rolled over to her front to see Lisbeth helping the girls up. Lyfa walked a few metres behind her.

Asuna struggled to keep her cool. Nothing was going her way today. The stone warriors around her seemed to glower shamefully at the broken teen. Shakily she brought her eye line up to the gang gathered around her, "Hey Lisbeth. Long-time no see."

Lisbeth ignored her and turned to her team, "Sorry we took so long. We saw you guys fighting but we thought we'd study it for a while before we tried anything."

"No worries…only bruised like, three of my ribs", Silica smiled weakly.

"Anyway we have business to attend to", Lisbeth smiled wickedly at Asuna who felt like some poor rabbit up against four foxes, "And we've got her right where we want her."

They were huddled around her with their weapons ready and she was lying down on the floor in agony. Even so, her curiosity got the better of her, "How did you get in? If I can't get out?"

"I don't know but it _is_ pretty convenient isn't it?" Lisbeth's voice was taunting, "We've waited long enough girls. Let's _end_ this."

"I can't believe we actually did it", Lyfa said grinning, "The great Asuna brought down by _us_."

"Guess it's time to take the reward", Sachi nodded at her team.

The swords went up in a singular motion and Asuna shut her eyes tight anticipating the pain. Ending like this wasn't the most honourable way to go but at least it would be over soon.

She waited.

And waited

…and waited.

"Guys please just get this over with", she dared her eyes to open a millimetre and instead of pointy objects in her face all that was in front of her were four gobsmacked girls in armour. There was a huge whooshing sound and all of a sudden the girls were looking in the opposite direction of Asuna. Gently, she lifted herself up enough so she could see through the wall of legs.

Black coat.

Black hair.

Two swords strapped over his back.

"Woah. I didn't know they had _this_ in SAO!" Kirito said with an uneasy smile.

Maybe the world didn't hate her after all.


	6. Finale: Part 1

**One part left after this! Just a heads up. I can't believe how popular this story has gotten. We're at 20,000 views and over 100 favourites and follows! That's crazy! Especially considering my update timings are ridiculously slow (Yeah...sorry about that). This story's been a lot of fun to write so thank you to everyone that reads it. Yeah...I'm just gonna stop my emotional rant now. You've all waited long enough so here ya go. Chapter 6!**

* * *

><p>It was a full blown Mexican stand-off. Asuna and Kirito at either side of the arena with the four girls spread out in the middle. No one knew whether to fight, talk or surrender and the silence hung over them like a thick mist.<p>

It took a while of staring around but eventually, Lisbeth retook her role as the crazy love-struck stalker gang leader and stepped forward, "Ki-Kirito? What are you doing here?"

He gave her the 'really?' look before answering, "Well erm, I'd like my girlfriend back if it's not too much trouble."

Lisbeth did one of those scared movie gulps. She looked at her friends for help but they all had the same dumbfounded expression she did. As they stood there awkwardly Asuna forced herself to stop laughing at the hilariousness of the situation and used it as a chance to start to make her way towards Kirito.

"Errm you see Kirito we were just-"

"Tryna kill her?"

"Not exactly…"

"You know this counts as kidnapping right?"

"We didn't _kidnap_ her Kirito she could've left any time."

"By you all killing her?"

"Well she wouldn't have actually died!"

Kirito shook his head, "That makes it better?"

"Killing her properly would be a little more extreme", Silica suddenly burst out of her awkward silence, "It wasn't serious Kirito! Just a game."

He ignored her, "You know schools started right? How the hell are you gonna explain all this when we get out?"

The girls looked at each other uncomfortably.

"You _really _did not think this through", Kirito felt like head butting the wall, "I mean…what do you expect to happen here huh? You can't _force _me to go out with you!"

"We just thought that-"

"No!" Kirito interrupted, "Don't try to explain yourself, this is _not_ okay!"

The girls faces turned from dumbfounded to puppy dog eyed. Kirito felt bad but what did they expect! They'd kidnapped his girlfriend because he was nice to them a few times. That was border line insane behaviour and he couldn't let it slide.

His crazed thoughts were broken up by a gentle tap on his back, "Hey", Asuna stood there smiling. She'd sprinted around the back of the arena. Her tiredness showed clearly on her face, making Kirito even more angry at the girls standing opposite from them.

"You okay?"

"I guess", Asuna sighed heavily before looking back at her 'enemies' with an annoyed look, "How are we gonna get out of this?"

Kirito smiled and lowered his voice to a whisper, "I've got this covered, just run with it okay?" When she nodded he turned back to face the girls confidently, "Show's over. Now. We're going", Kirito grabbed Asuna's hand and started walking to the outside of the stadium.

_Of course that was his plan,_ Asuna rolled her eyes, "Kirito that's not such a good idea…seriously stop!" She wriggled out of his grasp, "Kirito! Invisible force field! Won't let you leave!"

He abruptly stopped and stared sceptically at the edge of the arena, "Of course there's an invisible force field."

"Oh god please don't tell me that was your only plan."

"No but it _was_ the easier one."

Lisbeth and the others had started coming closer to the couple, "She can't exit the game. Neither can we, not until someone wins."

"Well that's just great", Asuna heard Kirito mutter.

"_That's_ not even half of it", she pulled Kirito away from the approaching girls, "Whoever's left standing becomes your SAO wife."

"What the…seriously what the _actual_ fuck!" Kirito paused then eyed each of his potential psycho wives, "They're crazy!"

"SAO will do that to you."

"Okay. Right…well", He glanced over at the approaching miniature army, "Please tell me there's a divorce mod or something."

Asuna laughed, "Thought you said you had another plan."

"Fine fine…Plan B", Kirito walked towards the girls, "Here's what's gonna happen. You're _all_ gonna let Asuna 'kill' you so she can be the winner of your little mind fuck of a game and we can go back to normal."

Silica looked confused, "Why would we do that?"

Kirito racked his brain, "Because…errm…I'll hate you all if you don't."

Sachi spoke up, "But you already hate us now…we've literally got nothing to gain from it."

Lisbeth butted in, "Plus we want revenge on Asuna…so we've got _something_ to gain from fighting you two and nothing to lose from losing against the 'it' couple."

Now Kirito looked confused, "Wait…why do you want _revenge_?"

"Because she stole you from us."

"Errm…how?"

"Because you met her first, therefore destroying all hope of any of us having a shot with you", Lisbeth was talking in an unblinking business-like manner, as if she'd rehearsed this a few hundred times.

"And beating her will do what exactly?"

"At this point…nothing I guess, but we'll still get revenge and one of us _will_ become your SAO wife."

"I'll just get an admin to change it."

"Then we'll _still_ have revenge."

"Huh? How? Seriously…how! Killing Asuna in a four against one fight with you all _completely _overpowered and Asuna left with a basic sword! HOW IS THAT REVENGE?"

"Because no matter how warped and unfair the fight is, she'll still see it as a loss. So we'd of beaten her, just once. Right now just once is all we need."

An eerie silence slowly overtook the black haired hero. Kirito looked confused. Then angry. Then shocked. Then confused. Then angry again. His changes in expression were so quick it looked like he was trying to speak whale to them. He looked helplessly at Asuna.

She smiled weakly, "Yep. They're always like that."

"Wow", Kirito's eyes darted to each of the determined looking girls as he talked, "I didn't realise it was this serious. This all started from stupid _crushes_?"

Lisbeth gave a smug look, "Stop looking so shocked. Feel flattered Kirito. All this was because of _you_."

"Lisbeth just calm down a minute okay?"

"No! This has dragged on for too long", Lisbeth beckoned to her comrades, "We may as well fight. We've come this far and this opportunity isn't going to happen again. Girls?"

"We're ready", Silica brought out her sword. The other girls copied.

Asuna frowned at the battle-ready teens, "Kirito?"

"Ye…Yeah?"

"A Plan C would be _really_ great right now."

Kirito looked down irritably, "You're not gonna like Plan C."

"Does it look like I have much of a choice at this point?!"

Lisbeth brought up her sword to swing but Kirito put his hand up, "I…wouldn't do that."

"Kirito stop stalling this it's-"

"No. I _really_ wouldn't do that."

Lisbeth's head tilted slightly, her pink hair fell messily across her face, "What are you talking about?"

He let them stare in misunderstanding for a few seconds before smiling, "You wanna know…where I got these swords?" Kirito stopped to make sure he had the girl's attention before continuing, "You'd think inventory wouldn't you? But for some unknown reason _my_ inventory, or should I say mine and Asuna's _shared_ inventory was completely empty! Now how did that happen?" He made sure to be extra sarcastic on his rhetorical question, "Well…as you can imagine I was pretty worried. All my items from years of collecting missing? Along with my girlfriend? It was…scary, you know, to say the least. So guess who _I_ went to for help Lisbeth?"

Lisbeth looked questionably at Kirito, "You didn't…"

"Oh but I _did_", Asuna noticed Kirito was having _way _too much fun with this and bit her lip nervously, "I went to Klein. Then Agil. For _some_ reason my items were all split between them. Weird huh?"

Lisbeth's wide eyes bore into his, "You _didn't_…"

Kirito grinned innocently, "Didn't what? Take all mine and Asuna's items back and rush straight here fully armed? With all of Asuna's weapons now conveniently only a few clicks away from her now?"

Lisbeth's voice turned into a whisper, "Shit."

"Asuna honey?" Kirito laughed, "Sorry but we're just gonna have to do one more fight to get out of this mess okay?"

"Oh god why", Asuna spoke slowly, beginning to understand what Plan C was and realising how much she was gonna hate it.

"Yeah…so if you could just open your inventory and pull out some kind of attack object we could really get this fight going."

"Why of course Kirito dear!" Asuna said in a beaming sarcastic voice. He mouthed 'sorry' to her but she shook her head. Seeing her usual items again was a relief and a spark of hope. Fighting in actual armour instead of her pyjamas, with her usual sword instead of some crappy rookies…it was relieving. Even with all their overpowered items the four crazed teens standing before her couldn't hide the fact that her and Kirito's fighting skills were _leagues_ ahead of theirs. They could win.

So Lyfa, Lisbeth, Silica and Sachi stood spread out strategically in a line across the centre of the arena. Kirito and Asuna were next to each other positioned for fighting in the lower half. The statues glared down like an audience across the vast space the six teens were trapped in.

It was time to _end_ this madness. Once and for all.

The final battle had begun.


	7. Finale: Part 2

**This chapter has broke me. Two weeks of adding and changing and now it's over! I know my updates have been non existent but thank you everyone, especially the people who've been there since the beginning. Okay, I'll leave you to it. Hope it at least give you closure...over two thousand words of closure :)**

The thing about having near unbreakable armour is that it gives the illusion of invincibility. It makes the wearer _too _confident and _too_ self-assured because it seems like nothing can hurt them. It also makes them feel stronger than they actually are. So when something more skilled comes along they underestimate the competition and before they even realise how stupid they were...they're gone.

Unfortunately for Lisbeth and her army, they found this out too late.

Needless to say, Kirito and Asuna were a well-oiled machine of badassness. As soon as Lisbeth made her move Asuna strategically placed herself and Kirito near the edge of the arena so their backs were covered while the guy in question crushed his swords into the girls slowly weakening armour. Attack. Dodge. Let Asuna's weapon through. Repeat. They'd done it a million times with bosses much harder than these teens. Asuna relished Lisbeth's helpless expression that mirrored how hers had been less that twenty minutes ago. She smiled devilishly.

_Karma's a bitch, bitch. _

It was an odd sight. Four girls repeatedly bashing their gigantic swords over two figures that wouldn't go down. Kirito's plan was to just keep slashing until they all either gave up or their health went down to zero. With a huge swing of his swords he crashed into Lyfa's green knight armour with so much force it caused a dent to form.

"Lyfa. It's not worth this. Walk away!" Kirito shouted over the fighting. He realised the talking was pointless but maybe it would distract her.

"Why! So you can carry on your perfect life while we all rot in our own self-pity!"

"What are you talking about!?"

Lyfa laughed, putting Kirito off his guard. They were separated from Asuna and the others by a few metres now, "You have _everything_! Your soulmate, your future, a history that everyone applauds you for. You're the star of the SAO incident", she pushed her sword forward again, "You're perfect. And I'm…_nothing_. I'm the little one in the background that no one cares about."

Kirito paused slightly in shock, giving Lyfa a chance to drive forward, "I want to be perfect. That's why…that's why we need this", Lyfa gave Kirito a forceful shove, sending him into the force field at the end of the arena. Pain jumped through him instantly, making him cry out, "That's why I _need _this."

Kirito breathed heavily as he quickly tried to recover, "Needs a strong word", his expression turned pitiful and with an identical shove to the one Lyfa had just given him he pushed her back into a fightable position, "No one has a perfect life Lyfa. You're being naïve."

"I'm not being anything."

Their swords had come to a resting position, "_You're being naïve_. SAO made the rest of us grow up a lot faster. You've got a lot more you need to experience before you're as independent as the rest of us."

Lyfa suddenly looked sad, "I don't need a lecture."

"I know", he sighed and subtly fixed his hand around his weapon, "And that's why I'm sorry for this."

Lyfa didn't register fast enough as Kirito plunged his sword again into the dent of her armour. This time the armour broke and before she realised what was happening, there was a weapon going through her. She watched surprised as her health drained rapidly to zero.

She closed her eyes tightly, "I'm…sorry…too."

What should have followed was a mournful death. But of course with these girls and their wonderful items, they always seemed to have a trick up their sleeves.

Literally.

A small gem started glowing from Lyfa's left arm and Kirito could only watch as her health went up quicker than it had gone down.

Not quite registering what had just happened, he started to back away, "Asuna?" Kirito yelled, "I think we're gonna have a bit of a problem."

Asuna, who was standing on top of Silica while Sachi and Lisbeth attacked her from either side grimaced, "You talking out the oh so unfair stones of eternal health?" Kirito looked round as Asuna stabbed Silica with enough power to kill her, only to then have her health be utterly unaffected, "Yeah I already know."

"Any ideas?"

"Errm…help!"

Kirito (who was feeling more helpless by the second) jumped between Lisbeth and Asuna and pressed into Lisbeth until she started to move away. Lisbeth, not too happy with this then proceeded to slash at Kirito repeatedly. Her moves were clumsy but fast and while Kirito did his best to dodge one strike eventually hit him. He heard the sound of a sword hitting bone and in horror looked at his arm to see Lisbeth's weapon sunk into it. He pulled himself from it, subconsciously checking his unimpressive health bar.

"Asuna I need cover!"

"Yeah I need a sec over here!"

"Asuna seriously Lisbeth's in hulk mode!"

"Yeah well I'm fighting off the Siamese triplets from hell!"

Asuna struggled as she attempted to swing her sword through Sachi's knight suit. The black haired teen was the only one who hadn't had her armour broken through yet. No matter how hard Asuna tried it wouldn't crack. That was a problem.

"Should've given up when you had the chance", Silica said smugly, "Now we're going to _destroy _you."

"Shut up you little brat", Asuna screamed and stabbed Silica again. But it did nothing to phase the increasingly confident girl.

"You can't win."

"I can try."

Asuna threw her sword in a circular motion, hitting Sachi and Lyfa as she spun. Letting her rage build up she leaped effortlessly toward Sachi and impaled her sword through the armour. She heard another sword belonging to Kirito swish in from behind. Sachi's armour broke into pixels, much to her horror.

It was two against four again and everyone was putting _everything _into this pointless battle. Lisbeth hit Asuna. Asuna hit Silica. Silica hit Kirito. Kirito got Sachi, who flung back into Lyfa. Swords clashed, adrenalin soared and those Roman statues stood as though they were watching every move from the edge of the inescapable arena. All was intense and the end was indefinite.

"Why can't you give in?" Silica shrieked, "Why can't we _ever_ win something?"

Asuna gasped in agony as Silica's sword struck her again. She couldn't think. Not with all these repeated attacks. Not when she could just close her eyes and…just for a minute…just to wake her up a bit…

_No!_

Asuna surged forward again. At this point willpower was the only thing keeping her going. Unfortunately, it was the only think keeping Kirito alive too. His health wasn't going up nearly as quickly as the girls and Asuna was nearing the point of hallucinations from not enough sleep. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were going to lose. Kirito and Asuna could both see it. Neither of them could stop it.

Clang.

Clang.

Clang.

The noise of metal on metal droned on. The two fighter's backs hit the force field again and again, bringing more pain. Asuna's eyes drooped and Kirito's arm felt like it was getting ripped off his weakening virtual body.

After god knows how long of back and forth fighting, both verbally and physically. Of Lisbeth's taunting and Asuna's yelling. Of Kirito's sword wielding and Silica's jabbing. The couple gave each other a look. It was a look that showed they were done. Finished. It was time to end this game.

Kirito jumped backwards from the fighting, grabbing Asuna's hand with him and rested his sword so he could lean over it. Asuna reluctantly did the same. They were now making no effort to fight back.

"Are you sure?" Asuna mumbled in the few seconds they had before the girls swords sliced right through them.

Kirito looked quietly at Asuna's sleepy face, "It's not worth this."

They clutched each other's hands and closed their eyes tightly, predicting their demise.

A demise that, as you would expect, never came to the two luckiest heroes in SAO.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Everything on the battlefield abruptly stopped. Lyfa and Sachi's swords stood paused over Kirito and Asuna's heads. The voice hadn't come from the girls. Or their two opponents.

It bellowed again, "STAY AWAY FROM MY MUMMY AND DADDY!"

Kirito and Asuna looked at each other with a surprised, knowing look. The girls had a knowing expression too, but theirs was mixed with fear.

"How the hell did _she_ get here?" Lisbeth whispered.

"HEY! YOU'RE THE STRANGE LADIES FROM YESTERDAY!"

The girls all looked at Lisbeth as if she was the only one who could sort this out. Lisbeth screwed her face up in anger and turned to face the black haired child, "Yui. Your mummy and daddy are just playing a game with us. They'll be done soon, just go home."

Yui scowled at each of the four. She was still in her nightie with her bare feet standing firmly on the stone floor about ten metres from everyone. She glanced at her 'parents', who were in such a state of bewilderment they said nothing, then at the arena around her. Focusing on the statues, her scowl turned into a grimace, "I don't like this game."

The girls never got a chance to think of some witty reply. Everything happened very quickly. Kirito and Asuna could see Yui put her arm out and a second later blinding light filled the whole arena. They heard the girls scream and when the light faded all their health bars were the same as Kirito's. Yui smiled innocently and looked at Kirito and Asuna expectantly.

Asuna was the first to react. Grabbing her sword more firmly she went straight for Silica who looked so angry and confused it was no wonder she didn't react in time to see the sword slicing through her. As she exploded into pixels there was a look of pure loathing on her face.

Kirito, who was only now realising what was happening, threw himself forward to the remaining girls. Lyfa looked defeated. She moved a few steps away, dropped her sword and mouthed _Do it_ to Kirito. He closed his eyes as he killed her a second time.

"I really am sorry", he said miserably. She nodded and looked away as her virtual body disappeared. Kirito thought he saw tears where she had been.

Yui took care of Sachi. Fire emerged from her little hands and blasted the teen down. She didn't look as innocent as she watched Sachi's remaining pixels dissolve into the air.

Lisbeth stood fearfully in the middle of the triangle that was Yui, Asuna and Kirito. They closed in until there was less than a metre separating her from them. Lisbeth bit her lip.

"This isn't over you know."

Asuna let Lisbeth see her sword glint in the sunlight, "Yeah, it is", she said sternly and pushed her sword out into the last opponent.

"Ne-never", Lisbeth smiled as her body dissolved, "_Never_."

As the last girl had her in game death scene there were a few moments of silence. Kirito let out a sigh of relief, "Is it…over?"

Asuna moved towards the edge of the arena, "One way to find out."

She took Kirito's hand and together they put their arms out to where the invisible force field had been. This time they went straight through. Asuna, not quite believing this, opened up her menu and was met with a look of pure satisfaction, "We can leave! Kirito we can go!"

Kirito opened up his own menu. The exit option was there again, "I don't believe it!"

He hugged Asuna then looking into her tired but ecstatic eyes he kissed her.

Yui coughed and Kirito pulled away, laughed and picked her up to join the group hug.

"Thank you Yui", they said together but Yui just smiled and continued to hug them.

Asuna opened her eyes to see the statues staring down at them again, "Okay can we please, _please_ go now!"

Kirito nodded, "Yeah, this place is creeping me out and _they_ might come back."

And so, hand in hand, they jumped from the arena to the grass below them and walked through the boring field. No one noticed the arena sink back down behind them. Their relieved smiles showed they probably wouldn't care if they did. The fight had ended, they (with a bit of help) had won and it was over. Finally over.

* * *

><p>"There's still something I don't get."<p>

It was a week later. Lisbeth and the girls hadn't been to school at all. Kirito and Asuna hadn't mentioned the fight to anyone.

"What?"

Asuna leaned down on her desk, not listening to the teacher and chatter around her, "What was something so detailed doing underground?"

Kirito glanced to make sure no one was listening, "The creator of SAO was crazy. You can't question everything he did."

"Still…I mean it wasn't finished was it? The statues and everything."

"I don't know. Maybe Kayaba stopped making it when he realised what he was going to do in SAO."

"I guess but-"

"Asuna!" Kirito grabbed her arm and gazed over at the group of girls that had just entered with hatred written all over their face, "They're back."

"Well don't stare at them they might see us!"

"Too late."

Lisbeth had just noticed them and with a smirk she turned away and continued her deep conversation with the girls.

"What are they planning?" Kirito asked fearfully.

"I have a feeling we'll find out soon enough", Lisbeth buried her face into the desk.

And they all lived happily ever after?

Well, until the next win Kirito's heart plot of course.


End file.
